I have chosen to keep my identity hidden to safeguard my identity from the ridicule. The previous night, I got hungry and chose to make some ramen. I took out the various packets from the bowl, included the spice mix and dried vegetables, then put the bowl in the microwave. After about a short while or two, I realized something was wrong. A terrible burning smell had saturated my kitchen. I swung open the door to my microwave and…low and behold…I had neglected to add water. There was some smoke emanating from the bowl. Not wanting to waste the ramen, I went to the sink and poured in water, which filled the air with acrid smoke for several seconds. I then returned the bowl once more in the microwave and cooked it for two more minutes before attempting to eat it. Well…It went okay for a little while, until I encountered a mass of blackened noodles which had become some sort of bizarre crystalline substance yet seen in nature by humankind. I had a change of heart.