So there’s this really hot kid in my creative writing class. Everyone knows I like him. But one day, he walked in like he stepped out of a GQ magazine, and I accidentally out loud whispered, “Shit, his face looks like the best chair,” and the girl who sits in front of me looked back and said, “WTH, that’s freaky and gross,” and she relocated. She looks at me oddly every time she sees me now.