Loading...
Cplartio Image

Okay, so this was in fourth grade, and I was in this class with all these dumbass kids. Here’s the back story: My parents typically pack me fruit for a snack, but on this day they packed me about half of the leftover Pringles from the previous day, you know, in that cylinder container. I was thrilled because I LOVE PRINGLES. But when recess came, and I was ready to take MY Pringles and eat them outside, they weren’t in my bag. I started scoping the area, trying to find my Pringles. I called the teacher over; she tried to find them but had no luck either. Then it hits me—What if MOIRA STOLE THEM? Moira was this chubby girl in my class that literally ALWAYS wore this purple princess dress that should be classified as a bad Halloween costume (seriously) and was known for being a bitch. Being the judgmental 9-10 year old I was, I straight out concluded that she must’ve stolen my damn Pringles. I told my teacher, “Well, too bad, I’ll just go out for recess now. It was just PRINGLES.” Playing it cool. So I stomp out of the class and start searching for Moira. I’m talking checking areas, finding witnesses, wasting my time. After about 10 minutes, I spot a group of kids gathered at the side of one of the portable classrooms. I hurry over to see what’s going on. The kids were eating Pringles. Barbecue-flavored Pringles. MY PRINGLES. I lose it, smacking the Pringles out of their hands and pulling kids away from the main source. And in the middle of all the kids, sat a smug looking MOIRA with my PRINGLES. I look all mad and rip the BLOODY EMPTY CONTAINER OF PRINGLES OUT OF THE DAMN BITCH’S FILTHY HANDS. By now even dumbass Moira knows what’s up, she’s a goner. I would’ve at least punched her, but a supervisor saw us and ran over. Moira was forced to apologize and I was forced to accept her damn apology. I never got to eat my Pringles. To this day I’m sure she fears my cold dead hands, ready to rip her lying face off.