I have chosen to remain anonymous to protect my identity from the ridicule. The previous night, I felt hungry and chose to make some ramen. I removed the various packets from the bowl, put in the spice mix and vegetables, then put the bowl in the microwave. After about a sixty seconds or two, I noticed something was wrong. A horrible burning smell had filled my kitchen. I swung open the door to my microwave and…lo and behold…I had failed to include water. There was some smoke rising from the bowl. Not wanting to discard the ramen, I went to the sink and added water, which filled the room with acrid smoke for several seconds. I then put the bowl once more in the microwave and cooked it for two more minutes before attempting to eat it. Well…It went okay for a little while, until I discovered a globule of blackened noodles which had become some sort of peculiar crystalline substance never before seen. I had a change of mind.