I have opted to remain anonymous to shield my identity from the foolishness. Last night, I got hungry and decided to make some ramen. I removed the various packets from the bowl, included the spice mix and dried vegetables, then put the bowl in the microwave. After about a sixty seconds or two, I realized something was wrong. A horrible burning smell had permeated my kitchen. I swung open the door to my microwave and…lo and behold…I had neglected to add water. There was some smoke rising from the bowl. Not wanting to waste the ramen, I went to the sink and added water, which engulfed the room with acrid smoke for several seconds. I then placed the bowl back in the microwave and cooked it for two more minutes before attempting to eat it. Well…It went okay for a little while, until I found a mass of blackened noodles which had become some sort of strange crystalline substance never before seen. I had a change of heart.